Disability And The Deeper Self

This post is part of a series that starts here.

Most times when we approach the subject of understanding our deeper selves, I think our first thoughts go to the question of, "Are we religious?" From there we then move towards our inner beliefs and struggles between religion and spirituality. The problem is, by polarizing the two terms, we effectively turn both into institutional ideologies that tear our identity's apart, rather than embody our whole selves in authenticity. In essence, we loose our deeper selves to the argument of semantics. As I heard it said once by John Ortberg, "I do not have a soul. I am a soul."

Betty Pries describes the Deeper Self by saying:

"Together our deeper and descriptive selves form the essence of what it means to be a person. If our descriptive self is our form, then our deeper self is our formlessness, or life breath, on which identity rests. This is the house of the sacred that lives in each person. It is the birthplace of all goodness, generosity, and grace. In various religious traditions, the deeper self is described as the presence or breath of God, as consciousness, or as the energy of great love, coursing through the body of each person."

— Pries, Betty. The Space Between Us (pp. 89-90). MennoMedia. Kindle Edition.

Deep within ourselves, an essence to our being was created through a relationship with all things and our creator. We might think of it as an unseeable alter, a holy of holy's, or glimmer of lightness within ourselves. The moment we think we've got a grasp as to what it is, it seems to slip through our fingers back into the mysticism of the unknowable. All we can truly hope for is to build upon our relationship with this part of our being while allowing it to mature and hold together our Described Selves.

Our relationship to our deeper selves is where religion and spirituality become practical realities grounding and connecting us to its foundation. Perhaps the easier of the two to approach, Brené Brown defines spirituality as:

“… recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.”

— Brené Brown 'Defining Spirituality' (https://brenebrown.com/articles/2018/03/27/defining-spirituality/)

Religion on the other hand requires an approach willing to revisit and perhaps strip away the baggage of defended ideologies and dogmatics that can create exclusivism (See 'Disability & The Defended Self'). Yes, tradition, rituals, and principles of truth matter with our relational reach for an unknown God. But as Gregory of Nysa reminds me often, "Concepts create idols; only wonder grasps anything." Even the Apostle Paul says we will only see as though in a mirror dimly (1 Cor. 13:12) and seek God while feeling our way towards him. (Acts 17:27) Brian McLaren offers a more organic and deeper approach to defining religion:

"The root of the word is ‘lig’, which you see in the word ‘ligament’. It means to connect, to join together, to unite, to bring everything together in one body or one wholeness. And of course ‘re’ means ‘again’. So you might say that good religion is about connecting us together again. Most deeply it is about binding us together into one body with God, acknowledging that different religious denominations and families have deferring ways of describing and relating to God. It is also about bonding and uniting us again with one another and with all creation - the trees and the mountains and the animals, with the stars and space and wind. In this light, true religion and naked spirituality are two names for the same thing: seeking vital connection.”

— Brian McLaren 'Naked Spirituality: A Life With God In 12 Simple Words'

So why might this deeper understanding of ourselves matter within the context of disability? Does religion and spirituality truly matter to those with disabilities?

The Wonder Of "What If..."

There is a story in the gospels of when Jesus healed a paralytic. If you have read other postings I've wrote, you know I speak a lot into the healing of the community in these stories rather then just the simplicity of healing the paralytic so that he could walk. But still, there is a great value in seeing how Jesus calls the paralytic to respond in faith to his relationship with him. As Jesus reaches out to him with the words to "get up and walk", the man begins to look deeper within himself as to the nature of what he is capable of. He began asking himself the question, "What if... What if I can walk?!"

For many with visible physical disabilities, our world all to often falls back onto the beliefs that there are some things simply not posable for those with disabilities. You'll never be able to ride a bike. You will not be able to hike or climb mountains. Or, you simply cannot join certain social events because they are held in inaccessible environments. I'm sure you can add to this list extensively. But, what if...?

What if the call to get up and walk was more about finding ways to overcome these barriers rather then just giving in to the mentality of "I can't"? What if the miracle of "walking" is really seeing those who for so long have been told its impossible, develop technologies and innovations which create new ways of succeeding and making it possible?

The spirituality and religious relationship we have with God and the evolution of creative human endeavour reveal a deeper foundation for the disabled to embrace the identity and hope of what if. When we witness the what if becoming reality as a community, wonder and awe becomes the expressive face to a disabled spirituality.

Courage & The Enduring Strength Of Being Beloved

For many, religion and spirituality has become a bustle of activities, rituals, and attendance requirements. It seems rather backwards to follow the path of kenosis which Jesus followed when he emptied himself so as to become nothing without Godly requirements. With a culture of assumed spiritual expectations, it takes courage for those with disabilities, who find themselves often unable to fulfill such religious checklists, to still see themselves as beloved by God in creation.

K. J. Ramsey beautifully reveals that:

"Courage is choosing to let your life match your worth. And to God, your worth is infinite. Belovedness is your birthright. Wholeness is the aim of a person who is practicing the willingness to let every part of their body, story, and life align with the truth of how beloved they are."

— Ramsey, K.J.. The Lord Is My Courage (p. 103). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

The deeper consciousness of a disabled spirituality that recognizes God's love for us without requirements connects our understanding of self to a confidence of moving forward from moment to moment with a stillness of meaningful worship. Like the call to be still in Psalm 46, mountains may crumble and seas around us may roar, but the mysticism of our humanity is still profoundly embedded with our creator.

Transformed Realities & Renewed Understandings Of Ourselves

I sat with my wife, Bonnie, as we sipped our coffee and together explored the significance of our spirituality as people with disabilities. Looking at her I asked, "What are some of the words that come to your mind when you think of why religion and spirituality are important to you?"

Pausing for a few minutes, she then started listing off words to me like: healing, hope. patience, guidance, purpose, they help me to become a better person, and overcome fear. What I realized was that the words that she gave me in describing the presence of religion and spirituality in our lives were actually expressions for describing transformed realities to our understanding of self and the world around us. In a similar description, Beth Allen Slevcove says:

"Symbols and rituals become our buckets or containers that allow the deep places within to come into the light and be transformed."

— Slevcove, Beth Allen. Broken Hallelujahs (p. 154). InterVarsity Press. Kindle Edition.

By paying attention to the deeper selves within us, we can discover new truths that reshape and renew our world so that hope becomes the embodied light of a life with disabilities. Practicing a disabled spirituality not only fulfills and holds our described and deeper self identity together but also reflects a light of inspiration for other to experience wholeness in who they are as part of our interdependent community.

So why is religion and spirituality important to you as a person with disabilities? Perhaps we might go deeper together.